16 REASONS WHY LONG DISTANCE MARRIAGE IS BAD FOR YOU
By Bisi Adewale
Alice’s husband has been abroad for years without coming back home, she had tried severally to relocate to the US to go and meet him without success. Recently she receives a call from a strange number to confirm her long fear that her husband has another Family where he is based.
The woman that called her told her she had been married to him for about ten years with three children, she just got to know about the Nigerian wife and decided to expose him according to the US Wife, Dele Alice’s husband is currently in jail for bigamy.
I have been working with couples for the past 20 years and I will say with all authority that distance marriage is not good for anybody especially you. I have so many cases like this I will tell you most distance marriage normally end in pains and agony. I will be showing you some reasons why you must not allow distance marriage here:
1. BREAKING OF TOGETHERNESS
Distance marriage will definitely lead to the breaking of togetherness that will lead to some other very serious issues. If you are based abroad and your spouse is based in another country, it is sure you will not be able to eat, drink, sleep, play, talk physically together. Togetherness is the foundation of any meaningful marriage, when it breaks, just wait to see more edge ration in that marriage.
2. DESTRUCTION OF ONENESS
Immediately togetherness lives oneness will follow, you can be in the same place to take a joint decision, then your unity begins to get affected.
3. FONDNESS FOLLOWS
When your spouse can not be beside you, fondness takes a big deep, you can see him or her on Video calls but you can really feel him. In fact, Video calls increase your yearning for touch, kiss, hug may be tantalizing sex.
4. ROMANCE DIES
When you can’t play, kiss, touch, hug, or joke together because of distance romance becomes a thing of the past, a dream, and a yearning. Long-distance marriage is known to kill romance.
5. OPEN DOORS TO INFIDELITY
Long-distance marriage easily opens the doors for infidelity. Even people that never imagine they can do it will suddenly find themselves in it because of demand of the body, loneliness, aloneness, temptation, emptiness, etc
6. OUT OF MIND SITUATION
The longer you go without seeing your Spouse, the longer they aren’t actively involved in your life, your attachment to them weakens. You don’t care as much and as soon as someone gets busy in that state it becomes very hard to think of the other person or to remember that you are in a Marriage. especially if you have a big timezone difference. That is why long-distance Marriage can be very difficult.
7. CULTURE FIGHTS
If you and your spouse live in different areas where their cultures are totally different, like someone living in the US and his Spouse living in Africa, coming together will always lead to fighting because of differences in cultures
Loneliness easily set in when your spouse is far away and this can easily lead to infidelity.
9. SINGLE PARENTING
One of the Spouses has to take care of the Children for the absentee Parent, while the absentee parent will be a ‘’Moneymaker’’ the one with the Children will be the ‘’Child Caregiver’’.
There will be room for rumours from people around trying to give information that may not necessarily be the truth, but you will tend to believe since there is no way to prove otherwise. This will also weaken your desire to stay faithful.
11. FEAR OF UNKNOWN
Fear of where your spouse is, what is he or she is doing, fear of infidelity, abandonment, secret marriage, etc is known to be the problem of people in a long-distance marriage.
12. PHONE FIGHTS
Because they are not together Couples in long-distance marriage are known to fight on phone a lot, things that suppose to be jokes can go so terribly wrong because of distance.
13. THIRD-PARTY ISSUE
Since you are not together other people can easily come between you and hurt your marriage deeply.
14. SIMPLY EXPENSIVE
Distance marriage simply means you have to keep two homes, pay two rents, buy two sets of gadgets, and many other expenses will become doubled. You will also need to spend money on a flight ticket or other means of transport to visit your Family, long-distance marriage is always very expensive.
15. DOUBLE MARRIAGE
Lots of People whose Spouses are in Africa and are based in the US or Europe do end up getting married secretly overseas. Most for Immigration Papers, thereby having a double marriage. Most of them do deceive both Women in their lives, not letting them know the existence of the other Women.
16. SEXUAL INFIDELITY
Sexual infidelity is almost sure in distance marriage. If someone in distance marriage does not reach out to the opposite sex they will go after him or her, it will take more than willpower to resist sexual temptation when spouses are not around for a long time sometimes years.
Read Also: CONTENTMENT IN MARRIAGE
Bisi Adewale is a Family Coach and Public Speaker and Author of more than 100 books on marriage and family life.