– Bisi Adewale
Sometimes, marriage can be painful. There can be conflict, misunderstanding or challenges. You need to know how to handle them and make your marriage stronger. If your marriage is painful, you need to do some things to make it right, let’s check them out
1. TAKE A MIRROR LOOK: The first person to assess when there are issues in your marriage is yourself. Avoid blame games and be careful not to exonerate yourself. Your spouse’s action may be wrong. What about your reaction? If your reaction is right, your marriage will not be where it is today. So, look at yourself in the mirror and say, “If this marriage must change, you must change. If this marriage must improve, you must improve.” Go ahead to improve yourself to be a better partner. “Either how canst thou say to thy brother, Brother, let me pull out the mote that is in thine eye, when thou thyself beholdest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, cast out first the beam out of thine own eye, and then shalt thou see clearly to pull out the mote that is in thy brother’s eye.”
Luke 6:42 KJV
2. PRAY ALONE, PRAY TOGETHER: Many couples do not remember prayer when their marriage hits rough patches. We nd it easier talking to people than talking to God about our issues and challenges. Take time to pray for yourself, your spouse and your marriage. Commit every issue into the hands of the almighty. Pray alone and pray with your spouse.
3. Solutions to our problems are on the pages of books, in seminars, and in training. If your home is in trouble, seek knowledge. You are not having marital problems; you are suffering from a lack of wisdom. Seek knowledge and use it wisely.
A lady left her husband angrily in the United Kingdom and returned to Nigeria because of marital crises. Her mother-in-law gave her a copy of my book titled FIGHT FOR THAT MARRIAGE. After reading the book, she realized her mistakes, came to us for counselling sessions and returned to her husband thereafter. Seek knowledge and make your marriage a better place to be.
4. SEEK COUNSEL: Most people in marital crises always look for supporters, family, and friends to talk to, that is, people who will tell them what they will like to hear. These people will compound the issues in your marriage. Talk to a counsellor instead, not people who will destroy your home and mock you if your marriage crumbles.
5. TAKE TIME TO TALK: Avoiding your spouse because of misunderstanding in your marriage will only make the case worse. It’s time to talk wisely, carefully, intimately, and frankly to each other and give your marriage a new lease of life.
6. DEAL WITH STRESS: Stress is one thing that can be hurting your marriage silently. It can make you behave abnormally without you knowing it. You may be scapegoating, and your spouse may be the scapegoat without you knowing it. Maybe you need to take some time to rest, maybe you need a few days off, maybe you need sound sleep, and maybe you need to take a hot bath. Drink some chamomile tea and sleep like a baby for some hours. Your marriage might need it
7. DEAL WITH NEGATIVE THINKING: Deal with negative thinking if you want a better marriage. Negative thoughts can never give birth to a good marriage. It can never improve your health and wellbeing. Think rightly; stop thinking you mis-married; stop thinking you will divorce; stop thinking your spouse is the worst in the world. These kinds of thoughts have never benefitted any home. It will destroy what you’ve taken years to build. You need to learn to think rightly.
8. DEAL WITH NEGATIVE TEAMMATES: Pride, name-calling, disrespect, lies, infidelity, selfishness, lack of empathy, lack of communication, lack of intimacy, lack of affection, refusing to compromise, fault finding, uncontrolled anger, pettiness, threats to divorce and rudeness, all have no part in a good marriage. They are negative teammates. Their agenda is to destroy your marriage. Don’t permit them.
To learn more get these two books 8 DESPERATE NEEDS OF YOUR WIFE, 8 DESPERATE NEEDS OF YOUR HUSBAND. These two books are what your marriage is waiting for, get one for yourself and one for your spouse, both of you should read it and see how your Marriage will suddenly turn to Heaven on Earth.
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