7 Reasons Why People Make The Wrong Choice Before The Marriage
The constant dissatisfaction, the rush, the way how we try to make everything happen fast — these are just some of the things that force us into making decisions that would be better not to make sometimes. We say yes to things that with a clear mind we would never do so, but then and there it looks like the correct decision, like something you have to make — even without any idea of why.
Maybe it’s because you feel lonely; maybe because it is like that for too long already. And there you go The next moment you are already into something that’s harder to get out from than anything else before. But there might be a lot of reasons why you find yourself in the wrong relationship. This is what we are talking about today.
1. Lust of the flesh
Lust of the flesh or a craving for sexual gratification is by definition a strong desire. Instead of using courtship to build and nature friendship, commitment and ensuring qualities like golly character, virtue, integrity and compatibility, some couples indulge in pre-marital sex and sexual pleasure, forgetting that casual sex will result in a causal relationship.
2. Lust of the eye
When a lady marries a man only because he is rich and well-to-do and she can thereby assure herself of a comfortable life, she is succumbing to the lust of the eyes.
Many people are married because they had a means (often financial or material) that would help them escape their own adverse circumstances. This is lust. Marriage based on this quickly run into trouble waters.
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3. The Pride of Life
This is assurance in one’s own resources or in the stability of earthly things. It’s destructive insecurity that makes people want to assert themselves over others. Therefore, they are never able to truly love and respect another person
Respect involves caring about another person’s best interest and not pushing only for personal gain. Yet, people because of who they are, marry certain people or into certain circles because they believe those people are not good enough for them.
Pressure manifest in a different way. It could be parental or family pressure. Your parent or the extended family may want you to marry Mr X or Ms Y for certain purpose or reasons. There is peer pressure, all your friends are getting married and you are feeling left out because all their conversations now centre around marriage-related issues and you feel unqualified to make any contributions during their discussion since you are not married. This form of pressure can cause you to make a wrong decision.
Haste is often likened to some form of pressure. When a man and a woman have not taken their time to know each other fully during courtship, the result is often a failed marriage or at best a stormy marriage even they stay together.
After the euphoria of a short courtship, which ends in the hasty marriage has worn off; reality and unpleasant revelation often sit in. All this could have been avoided if the couple had not been hasty in getting married. Time always reveals true motives.
Disobedience is sad and very serious. There are many cases where Christian men or women know the right thing to do and still go-ahead to make a decision that violet all they know to be right.
Sometimes, it is clear that there are warning signs about the person you are in love with that should make you run in the other direction.
He or she may not have any means of livelihood and want to sponge off you. This person may not do anything to your self –esteem and may make you feel less than the person God made you be.
7. Low self-esteem
This is a very important issue in the life of many single people. What do you think of yourself? How would you describe yourself to someone if you were being objective? The picture you have of your self is crucial to your choice of a partner because we attract people who feed of what we think of ourselves. When you think you are a failure, you will attract people who will reinforce that into your mind.
Most people who suffer from low self-esteem give their hearts away to the undeserving because they don’t know how much it is worth. They are empty and spend their effort finding fulfilment in external things that will never satisfy them. They often end up badly bruised.