Help: My one-year-old marriage is about to crash and I am the problem
I and Kunle had been together for seven years with the hope of getting married someday, but less did I know that it was a dream that was never meant to come through.
I met Kunle in my first year at the university. We were in the department and became friends and from there we migrated to be lovers. On-campus, our course mates do refer to us as MR & MRS.
We were both doing fine during our days in school. It was the mandatory NYSC service that separated us for a year, as he served in the North while I served in the East. But with that, there was no communication breakdown. I remembered he visited me twice within that period.
After our service year, we both return back to Lagos.
God was on our sides as we were gainfully employed on time.
Like serious young lovers, we had the plan of settling down but never did I know that Kunle has his own plan.
It was on a weekend that he called me that he wants to have some discussion with me. I quickly rushed down to his place because He stayed somewhere in Surulere while I lived in Ikeja area of Lagos.
On getting to his place, he started by taking me down to the memory lane, how we met, became friends and later lovers etc.
He then appreciated all my supports even when the road was rough and tough, how I stood by him.
While he was doing this, a lot of positive thoughts were running down my mind. Maybe he wants to propose marriage or present a special gift etc.
These thoughts of mine suddenly vanished the moment Kunle busted out in tears. I have never seen him in that state before.
To cut the story short, he managed to break the news. My own Kunle impregnated a lady they served together in the North during the service year.
The lady decided to keep the pregnancy and he has even met with the lady’s family who insisted that he must marry their daughter and their wedding must hold before she put to bed.
At first, I was totally lost in my thoughts. I couldn’t say anything or even cried. I couldn’t even remember every other thing he said that day as I only managed to get back home.
I was in tears for weeks and for the first time in my life, I took alcoholic drinks and became drunk.
Kunle and the lady later got married that same month. That was how Kunle left my heart shattered.
Then, I decided never to have anything to do with men. I suddenly developed hatred towards men. This I did for many years.
But as fate will have, I later got married to Sam after three years. Sam seems to be a different person of which he has proven to me several times but anytime I remember Kunle, I usually get mad.
Now, I am trying hard to trust Sam. I always monitor him up and down. Searching his phone chat, Whatsapp, Facebook, email etc.
Sam is a gentleman and I love him, but the truth is, I am finding it difficult to trust him.
My lack of trust in him has now migrated to hatred.
I have systematically and technically drove away all his female friends, even his female colleagues at work are no longer relating with him in the office as before simply because I once slapped one of them the day I went to his office and met him discussing and laughing with the lady.
I think I am overreacting and this is affecting my marriage.
Sam is a loving and caring husband, but my attitude is really hurting him.
I love him, but I don’t know how to handle this behaviour.
Please, what should I do?