LESSONS FROM PROPOSED DIVORCE BETWEEN BILL GATE AND MELINDA*
*BY AYODELE ADEOYE*
It’s heartbreaking to hear that a man with this level of global success is contemplating a divorce after marrying to his wife for 27 years.
Without mincing words, they must have been through hell these 27 years silently to have come to term that they’re no longer good together.
What an irony of life, some have cap without head, and some have head but they don’t have a cap.
Their achievements together and personally in the business world are amazing but why can’t the same wisdom that gave them so much money and fame be applied in their marriage?
Marriage is just between two people, while business is between numerous people.
How were they able to manage their thousands of staff, business partners and clients and yet they couldn’t manage just the two of them with just two children?
We must learn that the wisdom to run a home is not the same to run a business. You can be successful in business and in career yet be a failure in marriage.
The second lesson is the fact that money does not make marriage work. Lack of it or to much of it does not by anyway guarantee a successful marriage.
I guess, I maybe wrong though, that they give so much attention to their business than their union and family.
Of course who will have such a magnificent foundation and not give time to it? This is an error we must deliberately correct.
Even as a minister of God, over concentration on the Gospel without a corresponding attention to your family will ruin the family and ultimately ruin your work.
Some Gospel ministers think God is happier when they give all their time to the work of the vineyard and ignoring their immediate family.
Eli was a successful priest but a failed father and husband, and his success in ministry did not stop God from punishing him for failing at home. His failure at home ruined his good work in the vineyard.
Another lesson we must learn in this divorce saga is that, before we envy people for what they have, we should be closer to them to know what we have that they don’t have.
All the youths who aspire to be like Bill Gate or Melinda will agree with me that these guys they envy have not been happy for 27 years.
Yet there are couples whose income are not more than N50,000 (Fifty Thousand Naira) in a month yet they are happy together. Money is good but fulfilment is far better. Therefore, don’t ever build your happiness around money.
The last lesson I will want us to learn in this Bill and Melinda’s case is the boldness to speak up when your marriage is choking. Don’t wait until you die, 27 years of agony was quite long.
Don’t try to impress anybody that you are happy when you are dying silently. This couple obviously thought they could handle their differences for 27 years.
Don’t die in silence, speak up before it’s too late. Don’t allow depression kill you, speak up now.
In conclusion, marriage is more complex than business or your profession.
Don’t stop learning about marriage and relationship no matter how much you think you know or how long you have been married. There are people God has blessed with wisdom for marriage, be humble to learn from them regardless their biological age or marital age.
If you are sick, sometimes you don’t consider the age of your doctor or his years of experience.
Moreso, don’t be static in your relationship. Some times deviate from routine, add new things to your union. Give time for romance, don’t ever outgrow nasty romantic exercises, don’t give room for a boring marriage, it’s a silent killer of love and relationship. Bill and Melinda were obviously too busy for all these.
Don’t ever be too busy at the expense of your family.
Don’t make money you can’t have time to enjoy with your family.