HOW TO AWAKEN LOVE IN MARRIAGE
1. Decide on what you want: Building love in marriage is a decision to be made. So, decide you want to build a garden of love marriage, and you are ready to pay any price for it. Make a choice with your spouse concerning what you want.
2. Be ready to serve: Roll your sleeves, be ready to serve. Love in marriage involves two servants and no masters. Are you ready to serve?
3. Be ready to love: It is also a marriage of two lovers; be ready to love.
4. Let the love of Christ be in your heart: To love genuinely, you will need the love of Christ to be in your heart by the Holy Spirit. Our human make-up will only desire to be loved not to love. But when the love of Christ enters you, you will love, even if you are not loved in return.
5. Release your bowel of mercies: Let your heart love easily. Don’t count offences; count good deeds. Don’t emphasise on weaknesses; emphasise on strength. Don’t look for what to gain; look for what to give.
“Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering;” Colossians 3:12 KJV.
6. Know that true love is kindness: True love is not an emotion; it is kindness. It is kind thinking, kind words, kind actions and kind reactions.
7. Know that true love is giving: True love is giving; be ready to give time, money, support, etc.
8. Know that true love is commitment: Be committed and don’t hide this. Don’t let people doubt your loyalty; show it and say it.
9. Fuel love daily: Do everything to fuel love daily in your words, in your actions, in your giving, thinking, in your association and conflict management.
10. Increase SDA: This means a Secret Display of affection. Many couples hardly display affection when they are alone. This is very bad. Learn to hug, touch, play, sit on each other’s laps, etc. Never sit far from each other when you are alone. Make use of the two-seater chair in your living room, not the three-seater chair. Place your heads on each other’s laps. Sleep on each other, massage each other, kiss generously, always enjoy the moment together not as husband and wife but as lovers.
11. Increase PDA: This is a Public Display of Affection; you need to increase this.
12. Learn how to receive love: Could you believe that many married couples do not know how to receive love and enjoy it? Some husbands will be suspicious when their wives show love to them. They think, ‘’Maybe she needs money’’ ‘’She thinks I have been paid’’ ‘’All because of money?’’ So they find it difficult to respond or be moved, thereby, missing the great opportunity of fuelling their love life.
Wives, on the other hand, are always suspecting their husbands whenever they show love. They will think, ‘’This man wants sex, I’m not ready for that today oh’’ ‘’I know what he wants.” They quickly do what experts call ‘’sex walling’’ by refusing to respond or appreciate the man for his actions. They read meanings to it and shut down immediately, killing the emotion of love in the man.
Learn to receive love without thinking negatively. Receive it with joy and encourage your spouse to play along; the possibility of this is endless.
13. Learn how to give love: Don’t just learn how to receive love. Also, learn how to give it. Be generous in your words, in showing love, in giving gifts, in your good deeds, etc.
14. Speak your Spouse’s Love Language: Get to know your spouse’s love language and speak it generously.
15. Let your Spouse know your Love Language: Tell your spouse your love language and encourage him or her to speak it.
16. Give great attention to sexual love: Give attention to sex in your marriage. Don’t ever see sex as difficult or tedious; see it as a pleasure, joy and game of love. Enjoy the game, maximise the pleasure and take each other to the next cloud of tantalizing sex.
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