EMOTIONAL ABUSE: HOW TO IDENTIFY ONE AND WHAT TO DO

You need to read this if you are in a relationship

Emotional abuse happens in any relationship and is most common in dating and marriage. Unlike physical abuse where there are body marks that are evidence of the violence, with emotional abuse things are not as suble. That is because with emotional abuse, there is more use of toxic mind games and behaviors that will prove difficult to decipher, talk more of identify as a form of abuse.

So, what is emotional abuse?

Emotional abuse according to verywellmind is a way to control another person by using emotions to criticize, embarrass, shame, blame, or otherwise  manipulate another person. In other words, a relationship is emotionally abusive when there is a consistent pattern of abusive words and bullying behaviors that dries up a person’s self esteem and troubles their mental state of being.

Emotional abuse can also occur in any relationship among friends, family members and co-workers that leaves the victims trapped and afraid to leave.

How can you identify an Emotionally Abusive Person?

1.       They Exhibit an Uncontrollable Desire for Control: Since emotional abuse centers around power and control, a huge ‘red flag’ indicator is when your partner shows an unsatiable desire for control. They might come off as being overly-involved in your personal life, trying to oversee who gets in and out of your social life and even dictating where you go at time. Some partners will constantly check on your phone, texts and browser history – often reminding you of “what you will lose” if you ever leave the relationship.

2.       They Use Emotional Distancing as a Form of Punishment: Ordinarily, when punishment is involved in a relationship this is a typical indicator that something is not right. In an article by Medium.com, “An emotionally abusive person often uses emotional distancing, like withholding affection, stonewalling their partner, or giving them the silent treatment as a form of punishment”. They might go ahead and keep malice with you for days for trivial reasons like you being busy enough to answer your phone or cancelling plans. Some even go as far as denying their partners sex.

3.       They Enjoy Creating Chaos: Emotionally abusive people are damaged and love to see people around them try to pick up the pieces of themselves due to a chaos in caused by them. For these people, chaos is like a hard drug and they simply cannot get enough of it. They are drastically unstable when it comes to mood swings and that way it is nearly impossible to predict them in situations.

4.       They Manipulate Your Feelings And Frame you: In this instance, when someone frames you, they make you question your sanity and your own thoughts. They keep contradicting things and words of mouth and make you feel as though you are the one with a faulty memory faculty. They are manipulative and psychologically controlling.

5.       They Humiliate You in Every Possible Way: This is a very big red flag of emotional abuse. They purposely try to humiliate you using words or action in private and out in public. They might treat you as an inferior , insult you and make sarcastic comments and jokes at your ownexpense and when you do try to confront them they accuse you of being oversensitive.

Read also: 3 natural ways to cure erectile dysfunction

WHAT TO DO?

-Leave that relationship for good

-Don’t try to change the other person

-Reach out to trusted friends and colleagues

-Don’t blame yourself

-Give yourself time to heal and in the process find yourself again.

Sources: Medium.com, Verywellmind.com