5 Things You Should Know When Dating A Highly Sensitive Person
Highly sensitive people, or HSPs for short, experience life on an amplified level, and our relationships follow suit. We are more emotionally fragile and are the over-thinkers. Deep levels of connection — along with the occasional “Wait, are you mad at me?” text after a minor disagreement — are pretty common for us. We’re the sensitive sensuals, the hopeless romantics — and of course, we can also be the over-thinkers.
So what should you bare in mind when dating a highly sensitive person? Read on!
· Some HSPs are more sensitive to physical touch: Like most people, we are very sensitive to different sounds, for me the sound of those white package cushioning make me cringe, lol.. However, getting a massage sends me into a trance-like state of satisfaction.
According to Aron, some HSPs feel physical sensations deeper than others.That has a bright side, like when small displays of affection elicit a soothingly strong reaction of pleasure. On the other hand, it may also result in a lower pain tolerance. Hugs, kisses, lazy Sunday afternoons piled atop one another on the couch — it’s all to die for. The golden rule is to slow it all down, start gently, and always do so with consent.
· We notice EVERYTHING: Whether a tiny flake of pepper stuck in between your teeth or microscopic differences in body language, HSPs are constantly analyzing others. If you’re in a bad mood, we’re going to notice. Sound different on the phone? Yeah, we’ll probably notice that too.
Since we’re often knee-deep in our own vast world of brain activity, HSPs are pretty prone to overstimulation. Sometimes, I’ll find myself boiling over with a million exciting things to share with my partner.
Other times, I’m merely not as inclined with the conversation and making semi-unintelligible noises to communicate. All of that meticulous noticing can exhaust us.
· HSPs need really good communication: Not only are HSPs affected by others’ moods, the neural systems within our brains are actually changed by them. A 2014 study revealed stronger than usual activations within the areas of our brains that control awareness and empathy in response to both happy and sad photos of people’s faces.
What I’m trying to say is, if you leave us guessing by not communicating, we’re gonna feel that. Hard. We might drum up our own conclusions and stress about the unknown. Communication should never be a game of chess — so try to avoid guessing games. Just spill those damn beans already!
· High Sensitivity doesn’t Necessarily Mean High Maintenance: HSPs as a result of the subtle things they pick up tend to pick up more threatening consequences in their partners’ flaws or behaviors; reflect more and, if the signs indicate it, worry about how things are going.” But that doesn’t automatically equal high maintenance. As I’ve learned to better understand and manage my own emotions, my relationships have flourished. It makes a world of difference when sensitivity is nurtured and understood. But not everyone is willing to commit to this long-term work.
It takes a lot of time and energy to figure out your needs as an HSP. And once you learn to communicate these needs, it all flows much better.
· The ‘Little Things’ Mean More Than You’ll Ever Know: Impromptu kisses on the forehead, “good morning” texts scrawled on little notes, our favorite dessert when we’ve had a bad day — you have no idea how loved these “little things’” make us feel. In fact, we’ll probably talk about it for days and replay the special moments in our heads for weeks to come, relishing in the delight of it all.
N.B: The relationship-induced joy felt by HSPs is unparalleled, and those who we share it with are never forgotten. We’ll happily return the favor, keeping you in mind with all the little decisions we make throughout the day.
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