9 SECRETS AN INTIMATE MARRIAGE
You can be in your marriage and enjoy it forever; you can be lovers forever in your marriage, all you need is the skill to be a great friend, a good partner and the skill to be lover boys and girls no matter the age of your marriage then you can have an intimate marriage.
1. ACCEPTANCE: In the lives of two love birds, acceptance is a key factor. You can’t love someone you do not accept. To live together forever as lovers, you must accept your spouse’s stature, height, complexion, facial look and everything about him. Begin to see your spouse as someone having the best height, set of teeth, complexion, tummy, qualification, hair, best face and be proud of his profession (Song of Solomon 4: 10).
2. FORGIVENESS: Marriage cannot last if forgiveness is not part of it. In marriage, you will offend your spouse, but what will help you to stay married is your ability to forgive. Make up your mind to forgive; being generous with forgiveness will make your marriage to last (Colossians 3: 13).
3. DEVELOP TEAM MINDEDNESS: Successful couples are not extraordinary people; they are people with team spirit. It follows logically that a marriage cannot work when a couple relates with solo mindedness. One mind, team spirit enhances the health of a marriage. So drop solo thoughts, eating, dressing, purchasing and sleeping alone. That is a self-centred existence. Be a team player. Talk, walk, play, dress, sleep, build and invest as a team. Team spirit will insure your marriage against satanic, in-laws and third party encroachment (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12).
4. EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION: Couples communicate; great lovers communicate effectively. Effective communication is the fuel that keeps lovers going. Effective communication involves better understanding, adequate choice of words, right timing, sincerity, truthfulness, openness and continuity. Let there be no darkroom in your union; communicate effectively (Colossians 4:6).
5. DO AWAY WITH NEGATIVE EMOTIONS: Though you plan to live together as soul mates you may end up living together like cat and rat if you don’t deal with negative emotions. Divest yourself of negative emotions like an excessive demonstration of anger, retaliation, vengeance, malicious statements and attitudes, negative thoughts and interpretations, unfriendliness and negative statements. These negative emotions can destroy any marriage if left unchecked
6. TOGETHERNESS: Togetherness means that you and your spouse have been joined together to form a single entity. You can’t arrive at this point accidentally; you have to work it out by lots of coordinated activities like eating together, sleeping on the same bed in the same room, putting on the same clothes, praying together, going to church together, playing, strolling – activities that build and strengthen intimacies in marriage. They make you inseparable (Colossians 3:14).
7. PRAYER IS THE KEY: Prayer plays a strategic role in the making of a successful home. Many forces may militate against your marriage; you will need prayers to stop them. Create time to pray together for your love life, attitude, emotions, unity, pregnancy and delivery; your job, ministry, children and many more.
8. PLAYFULNESS: The home is not a silent graveyard where no noise is allowed. Put on your childhood instincts; play with your spouse to have an intimate marriage and children to have an intimate family. Don’t let your home wear a gloomy look like a graveyard. Playing together will keep you closely knitted (Song of Solomon 7: 11).
9. SEXUAL FULFILLMENT: In a successful marriage, sexual fulfilment is not negotiable. Give quality sex a chance in your marriage; avoid sexual denial and don’t use sex as a weapon or trade by barter. To get to the level of sexual fulfilment, there must be sexual communication. Ask your spouse: how can I satisfy you sexually and be prepared to improve? Make up your mind to satisfy the sexual desire of your spouse (1 Corinthians 7: 5).
© Bisi Adewale
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