9 Reasons Why Modern Marriage Fails. Number 3 and 4 Will Shock You
The rate at which many marriages are broken down irretrievably nowadays is becoming so alarming. Notably, many couples spend huge amounts of time and money to have great weddings, but almost no effort preparing for a great marriage. I must say here that marriage is a serious business not for a fainted heart.
I’ve seen a few couples that that did an expensive wedding but the marriage lasted only six months. This is sad! Right?
In this article, we are going to discuss 9 major reasons why modern marriages are not working. Are you ready? Let’s rock and roll …
1. Couples text each other more than they actually talk to each other.
Nowadays couples spend a great deal of time on the phone rather than with their partners. I am not saying couple shouldn’t embrace this technology but this should not be a substitute for face to face human interaction, especially in your marriage.
Couples need to get back to the basics of good conversations and intimate connection. Phones are nice but the tech-free conversation is much better.
2. They build their marriage on feeling instead of our commitment.
There’s nothing wrong with feelings. They’re an important part of life, but they were never intended to be our compass or our foundation because feelings are fickle. Marriage is far too important to be based on feelings. Instead, the couple should build their marriage upon commitments even on those days when they are not feeling it.
3. They view marriage as a 50-50 partnership.
Marriage certainly is a partnership, but in our modern world, couples seem to divide everything into “his” and “hers” which is dangerous. When we look at marriage as “50-50” we’ll always be keeping score and measuring our spouse’s efforts against our own (and almost always scoring ourselves higher than we’re scoring him or her).
4. Sex becomes almost non-existence
Many marriages suffer a setback because of a lack of sex in their marriages. Sex is meant to be enjoyed by couples which cement and bond them together. Not only do I believe it’s an important aspect of a relationship, I believe it’s the most important. Beyond being pleasurable, sex connects two individuals.
Therefore, starving each other of sex will create a big problem in the marriage. I’m baffled on why couples neglect having sex, especially younger ones. Instead, the couple will have sex once every couple of weeks, or when it’s time to get pregnant.
5. The desire for attention outweighs the desire to be loved.
Social media has given everyone an opportunity to be famous. The attention you couldn’t dream of getting unless you were a celebrity is now a selfie away. Post a picture and thousands of strangers will like it. Wear less clothing, and guess what? More likes. It’s more than that though. What about the life you live? And they get this gratification from people who like and comment on their statuses or pictures.
6. Social media just invited a few thousand people into bed with you.
We’ve thrown privacy out the window these days. Nothing is sacred anymore; in fact, it’s splattered all over the Web for the world to see. Everywhere we go, everything we do — made public. Instead of enjoying the moment, we get lost in cyberspace, trying to figure out the best status update, or the perfect filter. These things can destroy your marriage.
7. Religious differences.
When couples are dating, religion isn’t always brought up or talked about. Holidays are often spent apart and family traditions don’t play as much of a role in the couple’s daily lives. However, once things become more serious, religion and tradition tend to become more important and, if both couples aren’t on the same page, trouble can arise. “I’ve seen a lot of younger couples where religion has become a significant issue in their marital relationship. Many top reasons for divorce boil down to lack of communication, and this is a particularly big one.
8. Believing that marriage is an escape route.
Oftentimes people make the leap to marriage without giving a great deal of thought about the person they’ll be living with for the rest of their lives. “Deciding who to marry is the most important decision most people will make in their life. Yet many people do less due diligence than a gas station hiring a part-time janitor. Willful blindness does not end well.
9. Emotional infidelity.
As unfortunate as it may be, once couples get married, it’s not uncommon for them to become emotionally disconnected from one another. When this happens, it’s likely that at least one spouse’s needs will become unmet, and so they may start looking elsewhere to feel fulfilled. This is where emotional “infidelity” has the opportunity to slip into the marriage.
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