9 HABITS OF TEENAGERS PARENTS NEED TO MANAGE WELL

There are things teenagers do that tend to sum up the teen years. They need their freedom, but they also need our guidance. They want more opportunities to make their own choices; we want to feel more comfortable before we give them those chances. Teenagers often think they should have more freedom than they can actually handle and while there are no “bad teens,” there are children who push boundaries and rebel more than others. But even if a teen is responsible and mature for his or her age, there is typical teenage behaviour and things teenagers do that (no matter what argument they give), they just should not be doing.

Parents make the mistake of thinking that it’s not worth it to hold their teen to this standard. Teens will be teens! But if we pretend like we don’t care and that we have zero confidence in our kids to make healthy and responsible choices, we are setting them up for disaster. So here are 9 things teenagers do that they shouldn’t.

1. Sending Inappropriate Texts/Pictures

According to a recent survey by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy, 20% of teens are sending or posting nude or semi-nude photos of themselves, and 39% are sending/posting sexually suggestive messages. Make it clear to your teen that they can’t control who sees this content and that it never truly goes away. Ever. Many girls say that being asked for a nude photo is flattering. Remind your daughter that if a guy really likes and respects her he would never ask her to do that.

2. Drinking Alcohol

A 2019 youth risk behaviour survey conducted by the Centers for Disease Control found that 29% of high school students had consumed some amount of alcohol in the prior 30 days and 14% binge drank. Five percent of respondents drove after drinking and 17% rode with a driver who’d been drinking. Alcohol increases your teen’s risk of death or injury in a car crash or other accident and may permanently alter her still-developing brain. No amount is truly safe at this age. Drinking is one of the things teenagers do that parents pretend is 100 percent okay. But the legal drinking age is 21 for a reason.

3. Eating of Junks

Your teen is busy—always on the go between classes, rehearsals, and practices. The temptation to eat unhealthy food on the go is great. But those bodies and minds that are still growing and changing need good nutrition just as much as when they were toddlers. Make family mealtimes a regular occurrence for nutritional and relationship reasons. This one is a gut-check for parents (no pun intended). Eating too much junk is often one of the things teenagers do because it’s what they see their parents do.

4. Drug Abuse

Teenage culture is built on hunger for risk-taking and new experiences. Adolescents are notoriously creative in terms of finding substances to experiment with, and they usually don’t come from a shady dealer on the corner. They most likely come from your family medicine cabinet. Throw away unused prescriptions and keep tabs on other medications. Also, educate your teen about drug abuse.

5. Overdoing It On Caffeine

More teens today are fueling their bodies and minds with potent energy drinks and strong coffee. While these legal drinks may seem less concerning, high levels of caffeine can cause health problems and mask your child’s need for real food and sleep. Additionally, the teen trend of combining energy drinks with alcohol is extremely dangerous. While a daily cup of coffee probably won’t do any harm, keep up with how much your kids are drinking.

6. Keeping Social Media Hidden from You

Social media is a huge part of how teens connect in the 21st century, so we shouldn’t expect them to stay off of it altogether, but having accounts you don’t know about or not accepting your friend/follow request should be a deal-breaker for you. Once you’re on the platform they’re on, educate yourself and your teenagers on how to manage and avoid abusive use of social media platforms.

7. Having Sex

The obvious risk of pregnancy is reason enough to help your child avoid sexual activity, but the lesser-discussed repercussions like contracting an STD, suffering depression, and an increased risk of suicide are just as real. There’s also a teen mindset that oral sex isn’t “really” sex—but it, too, comes with risks. Make sure your teen understands that birth control alone can’t protect them from the perils of sex, and that waiting can spare them undue stress and heartbreak.

Some parents think setting the bar at abstinence is outdated or unrealistic, but having that conversation with your teen will communicate that you believe that they are capable of waiting and that might just be the vote of confidence they need.

8. Coming and Going Without Checking In

It’s so simple, yet it takes real work on a parent’s part: always knowing where your teen is, who he’s with, and what he’s doing. Just staying aware of these basics at all times makes it harder for your teen to engage in activities or behaviours you want him to avoid. Do the hard work and don’t take anything for granted. Ask, then verify. And that phone you pay for? It needs to be on and answered every time you call.

Expect that your teen will push back on your keeping tabs. She won’t like it, but communicating that you care about their whereabouts is another way of saying, “I love you.”

9. Keeping Secrets

It’s natural for teenagers to crave independence and privacy, but you can’t effectively parent them if you don’t know what’s going on in their lives. Make yourself available to just catch up with your teen. Hang out and ask open-ended questions. Keeping your relationship with your teenage open can be the difference between spotting a major problem before it’s too late, or missing it altogether. If you sense that your child is working hard to hide something from you—be concerned and get to work discerning what it is.