7 Secrets to a Successful Marriage
Wouldn’t you like to know the secret sauce to a happy and long-lasting marriage, especially from those happily married couples who have aced the art of leading a happy relationship?
Marriage needs to have two people who really want the marriage to succeed in order for it to last for the long term and involve two happy people. Here’s a list of tips that will help married couples have long and happy marriages:
1. Be independent
Independence is rated ‘extremely important in a marriage.
In order to be happy in a relationship, we must be happy first. That is, in fact, the key to a successful relationship. With that in mind, wives and husbands must continue to take out time for themselves, enjoy their personal hobbies, and in general, spend some time apart.
Not only does absence make the heart grow fonder, but in the time we spend alone, we get to reunite with our spiritual side, re-establish our sense of self, and check-in with the progress of our personal preferences, goals, and achievements.
2. Be Honest With Each Other
Some people think that making the other person happy is the best plan in marriage. But eventually, if you are always giving in to the other person’s wishes while shoving your own wants and needs under the rug, resentment will build up inside you. Whether it be major decisions such as whether or not your spouse should take a new job and move the two of you out of state, to smaller things, like what restaurant to eat in, be honest with your spouse.
3. Be a good listener
We need to talk.
Most partners dread this sentence but do you know that if you are wondering how to have a successful relationship then creating a platform for healthy conversations is the way to go?
While all women should work in the art of active listening, we emphasize this as an area of special attention for men. Too often, men do not realize that all their partner needs from them are a listening ear.
This is due to their programming and the way in which they are taught to relate to others.
Remember that listening and hearing are not the same things. Listening involves our hearts. Open yours, hear what she says, look at her while she speaks, paraphrase even, and reassure.
Listening is the real key to a happy marriage, for that matter, to every relationship.
4. Communication Is Important
What does communication between a married couple actually mean? Don’t they live together and talk to each other every day? Well, maybe but communication in a happy and healthy marriage needs to go further than, ’Please pass the butter” or” Can I have the Sports section of the newspaper?” Two people are in a marriage together so both should be able to discuss their wants and needs.
Open communication is a very good thing. It could be about their hopes and dreams, or it could be talking about ways to live together more peacefully. It should definitely include some discussions about money because money issues are often the cause most often link to marital discord. Some people get aggravated by their spouse for years, and never bring it up. Then when they announce they want a divorce and the spouse asks why they give them a whole laundry list of things they have done wrong over the years.
Husbands and wives should love each other enough to be able to talk about these issues as they arise. This is another situation where things can fester and build up over the years if not discussed during the time they are happening. If a spouse has a hard time with confrontation, plan a weekly or monthly family meeting time where husband and wife sit down together and air anything that’s bothering them. Does it bother you when he leaves clothes hanging out of his top drawer, or leaves his dirty clothes on the bathroom floor for you to pick up? Does it bother you when she leaves her makeup containers out all over the bathroom counter, or leave the kitchen cupboard doors open and you knock your head on them? Discuss issues as they arise so they don’t become mountains in your marriage when they started out as molehills.
5. Find Interesting Ways to Show That You Care
There are lots of ways to show a husband or wife that they are important to you or that you are thinking about them. It could be texting or emailing them during the day when you are both at work. This is especially important if your spouse is having a stressful day or week, or has a big meeting coming up. Leaving a love note on the bathroom mirror or in their car before you leave for work will be a nice surprise.
Another great surprise would be to bring home a cup of their favorite coffee on a Saturday morning. Or make a meal or dessert you know they would love. A nice surprise for a spouse will always bring a smile to their face and make their day brighter. And will bring back that spark that was there at the beginning of a relationship.
6. Take responsibility
It is that easy and one of the secrets of a successful marriage. When you participate in a project, take responsibility for your successes and your failures.
When you and your partner have a disagreement or argument, remember to take responsibility for your actions, including anything you did or said, especially if it was hurtful, unthoughtful, or created adversity.
A compliment a day keeps the divorce attorney away.” Acknowledging your partner’s positive attributes every day, and paying compliments, will go a long way in your relationships.
Stay positive, and keep track of what your spouse does well. When the going gets rough and his not-so-great attributes come forward, rather than focusing on the negative, try switching gears, and point out the positive stuff instead.
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