5 LOVE LANGUAGES
To make your Marriage work and build a solid Family, you need to know the five love languages and speak the one that belong to your Spouse.
1: WORDS AFFIRMATION: Expressing affection through
Receiving gifts spoken affection, praise or appreciation.
The words of affirmation love langue is verbal expressions of appreciation, compliment, praise, and thanks, conveyed for the well-being of the one you love. Such communication demonstrates encouragement – it inspires and motivates (not pressures) another to pursue a latent interest or achieve personal potential; kindness – it encompasses loving tones and truthful statements to build intimacy, express understanding, share difficult feelings, or show forgiveness; and humility – it requests instead of demands, asks instead of nags.
People who speak this love language value communication. They adore words. They want to hear how they are valued and that they are understood. They may want to hear compliments and be told, “I love you!”
One thing to note about this love language is that it requires a bit more uncovering if your spouse values it because there are many dialects of this language. For my husband, it’s not necessarily the compliments that make him feel loved but rather open communication of feelings. It’s responding to his thoughts and feelings in a way that makes him feel understood and cared about. But for some, it’s the compliments they crave. If someone you love values words of affirmation, find the dialect they speak and learn to speak that way in return.
• I love being addicted to you.
• You did a difficult job really well.
• I look forward to waking up with you every day for the rest of my life.
• I love being in love with you.
• Thank you for looking after me.
• Thank you for always being there for me.
2: ACTS OF SERVICE: Actions, rather than words, are used to show and receive love.
Help with dishes
Cleaning the House
Washing the Car
Washing of Cloths etc
3: RECEIVING GIFTS: Gifting is symbolic of love and affection
The receiving gifts love language refers to tokens or symbols of affection, caring, remembrance, and thoughtfulness. They may be tangible gifts – little (or big) presents that you’ve found, made, or purchased, given either at a special time or for no specific occasion; or gifts of self – your physical presence in important moments or times of crisis.
For some, feeling loved comes in the form of a gift. Whether big or small, this gesture will speak volumes. It often doesn’t matter what it is or how much it costs, either. For the receiver, it’s the thought that counts. A gift shows your partner or loved one that you thought of them. That you intentionally carved out margin in your life to show them just how much love you have.
If this language is not natural for you, just remember it doesn’t matter so much what it is, but rather that you thought of even giving him or her something. If you value this love language, share that with your spouse. Let them know so they can speak to your heart the way it longs to be spoken to.
4: QUALITY TIME: Expressing affection with undivided, undistracted attention.
The quality time love language is focused, undivided and uninterrupted attention, despite busyness and business. It is demonstrated in: togetherness – not just proximity, but the simple emotional connection and enjoyment of being with each other; meaningful conversation – sympathetic (not just solution-oriented) dialogue and active listening to share feelings, thoughts, and desires in a friendly uninterrupted context; and shared activities – doing things together that interest one or both of you just in order to create a unique experience and mutual memory.
5: PHYSICAL TOUCH
The physical touch love language is communication of your love through the body’s nerve endings, with sensitivity to what methods, circumstances, and timing your spouse finds pleasant.
It includes hugs,
and, of course, regular sexual intercourse.
It also encompasses long, empathetic embraces and tender touches of understanding when your spouse is in tears or times of crisis.
This language is all about the feels. It doesn’t require much extra time or thought, but rather takes intentionality. If the one you love values touch, it’s the little things that speak loudly. A simple kiss before leaving the house for work and one when you return. A touch on the shoulder as you walk across the room. Holding hands in the car. Each of these simple gestures will make some feel more loved than anything else in the world. If your spouse craves this, be mindful. Without regular touch, they may feel unloved and withdraw. If you identify touch as your language, don’t be afraid to initiate or communicate your need for it.
It can range from having sex to holding hands. With this love language, the speaker feels affection through physical touch.
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