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Home Forums Relationship and Life 42 ANCIENT WISDOM FOR A GREAT MARRIAGE

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    Opinion: Why Most Conventional Wisdom About Love Is Bullsh*t (READ) - The  Trent

    Bisi Adewale

    1. CHOOSE LOVE: Love s a choice, so choose to love each other even in those moments when you struggle to like each other. Love is kindness, Love is a commitment, not an emotion, not just a feeling.

    2. PHONE AFFAIRS: People honours girlfriends or boyfriends calls, but immediately after weeding they do ignore their spouses call, this is bad, so as a rule Always answer the phone when your husband/wife is calling

    3) PHONE HOLIDAY: Never allow phone to strangulate your marriage, many calls can wait, many will call back, you can also call back later, so as much as possible, try to keep your phone off when you’re together with your spouse.

    4) TIME CURRENCY: Make time together with a priority. Budget for a consistent date night. Time is the “currency of relationships” so consistently invest time into your marriage. There are no shortcuts. Building a strong marriage takes time.

    5) SUPPORT SYSTEM: Your friends will impact your marriage, so choose your friends wisely. Surround yourself with friends who will strengthen your marriage and

    6) REMOVE WRONG PEOPLE: remove yourself from people who may tempt you to compromise your character.

    7) LAUGHTER TREATMENT: Make laughter the soundtrack of your marriage. Feel free to laugh together, laugh at your jokes and your mistakes instead of fighting about it

    MOMENT OF JOY:  Share moments of joy, and even in the hard times, find reasons to laugh together.

    9) PRESS JOY BUTTON: Get to know that thing that makes your spouse so happy, its call Joy button, everybody has it, what is your spouse joy button, find, press it often and keep the marriage lively and your spouse happy.

    10) AVOID RED BUTTON: Red button are those things that easily annoy your spouse and make your marriage hot and difficult. Know how to handle this wisely and avoid conflict that hurt marriage deeply.
    11) NOT OLYMPIC BUT PARTNERSHIP: In every argument, remember that there won’t be a “winner” and a “loser.” You are partners in everything so you’ll either win together or lose together. Work together to find a solution.

    12)  STRENGTHEN THE FEEBLE KNEE: Remember that a strong marriage rarely has two strong people at the same time. It’s usually a husband and wife taking turns being strong for each other in the moments when the other feels weak. Cover your spouse weaknesses that is why you are together.
    13) ITS NOT 50-50: Remember that marriage isn’t 50-50, divorce is 50-50. Marriage has to be 100-100. It’s not splitting everything in half, but both partners giving everything they’ve got!, given all without reservation.

    14) NOT LEFTOVER John Maxwell said no Marriage can survive forever on Leftover. What a profound statement. Give your best to each other, not your leftovers time, money, love, emotion etc after you’ve given your best to everyone else.

    15) TALK TO EACH OTHER, NOT AT EACH OTHER: Speak lovingly and respectfully to each other. Your words matter, but the tone of those words matter too. The tone of your words can set the tone for your entire marriage.

    16) DONT PAUSE YOUR MARRIAGE:
    Don’t put your marriage on hold while you’re raising your kids or else you’ll end up with an empty nest and an empty marriage. When your Children gets Married you will live the rest of your life in loneliness, Don’t pause your Marriage

    17) NAKED BUT NOT ASHAMED Never keep secrets from each other. Secrecy is the enemy of intimacy. Be totally open, Marriage thrive when there is openness and transparency

    18) LET YOUR YES BE YES, NO BE NO: Never lie to each other. Lies break trust and absence of trust break love and love is the foundation of a strong marriage.

    19) SAY SORRY TO AVOID SORRY MARRIAGE: When you’ve made a mistake, admit it and humbly seek forgiveness. You should be quick to say, “I was wrong. I’m sorry. Please forgive me.” When couples can not say sorry, Marriage end up in the sorry state, avoid this.

    20) BE GENEROUS WITH FORGIVENESS When your husband/wife breaks your trust, give them your forgiveness instantly which will promote healing and create the opportunity for trust to be rebuilt. You cant build a house without making muds, you cant build marriage without offending each other one time or the other when that happen open your bowel of forgiveness.
    21) GIVE VOICE TO FORGIVENESS: Don’t just forgive in your heart but give voice to it, this reassures your spouse and heals you too. You should be quick to say, “I love you. I forgive you. Let’s move forward.”

    22) APPLY BRAKE: Be patient with each other. Your spouse is always more important than your schedule don’t be on the high of life 24/7 apply the brake. Patience is a strong pillar of marriage.

    23) AVOID SCREEN SEX: Stay away from porn, blue film or anything that creates sexual fantasy apart from your spouse. Porn is a prison, its a cage, it’s destructive, it breaks trust and destroys marriage and damage homes.

    24) AVOID STINKING THINKING: Don’t just be physically monogamous; be mentally monogamous. when you think sex, think only your husband or wife, your thinking must not stink, stinking thinking sinks marriage

    25) BE A FAN NOT A RIVAL: Be your spouse’s biggest encourager, not his/her biggest critic.
    Be your spouse fans, head of his or her supporter’s club, be in the same camp not in opposing teams.

    26) BE A WIPER Be the one who wipes away the tears of your spouse, not the one who causes them. Wipe sweat don’t be a source of your spouse needless sweat

    27) APPLY MOUTH LOYALTY: Never talk badly about your spouse to other people when he or she is not their or vent about them online, this is a sign of disloyalty avoid it

    28) BE YOUR SPOUSE ARMOR BEARER: Protect your spouse at all times and in all places. Be Chairman of defence council of your spouse, defend, protect, be a shield. Don’t be on the attack, don’t attack your spouse its foolish.

    29) WEDDING RING IS NOT A FASHION: Always wear your wedding ring. It’s not just for fashion, it’s a covenant reminder. It will remind you that you’re always connected to your spouse and it will remind the rest of the world that you’re off limits!

    30) FAITH BUILDS MARRIAGE: Make your faith a priority. Pray with each other and for each other. Every marriage is stronger with God in the middle of it. Every Marriage is twice weakened when God is absent.

    31) DONT NAG BRAG Instead of nagging about your spouse, try bragging about your spouse! Focus on what they’re doing right instead of always pointing out what they’re doing wrong.

    32) NO BLAME GAME: When you’re facing struggles, don’t blame each other. Instead, work together with mutual respect to find solutions.

    33) NO WAY FOR MY WAY: It was Dr Gary Chapman that said: “Neither husbands nor wives can have their own way and a successful marriage at the same time” don’t insist on “my way” give way for “our way” that is the secret of a great marriage.

    34) FLIRTING IS ALLOWED: Never stop flirting with your spouse and never start flirting with anyone else! Home flirting is great, away flirting destroy trust and marriage.

    35) NO PSYCHOLOGIST IN THE HOUSE: Don’t expect your spouse to read your mind. Clearly communicate your thought and feelings. Take time to talk to each other AND listen to each other.

    36)  BE A PARTNER:
    Work together as partners. Never let your spouse face a struggle without your encouragement, partnership and support.

    37) DONT PUT YOUR MARRIAGE ON HOLD: Don’t put your marriage “on hold” for the sake of your career, hobbies or any other pursuit. Don’t sacrifice your marriage in the pursuit of lesser things.

    38) MAKE PARTNER’S FOCUSED DECISIONS: Consider your husband/wife in EVERY decision you make, because all of your decision will impact them in some way.

    39) DONT BREAK THE POT: Never consider divorce as an option. Remember that a “perfect marriage” is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other! Don’t break the pot of your marriage, the pot belongs to God your maker.
    40) BE TOTALLY BIAS IN FAVOR OF YOUR SPOUSE: Let everybody around you see that you are biased, yes, bias in favour of your spouse, let them know where your loyalty lies, there some things they will never bring your if they already know your stand.
    41) HUMOR MONGER: Be full of humour. Joke with your Spouse, crack healthy jokes, make your home lively.
    42) MAKE SEX HAPPEN: Prioritize what happens in the bedroom. It takes more than sex to build a strong marriage, but it’s nearly impossible to build a strong marriage without it!
    ⒸBisi Adewale

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