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Home Forums Marriage Issues 4 Common Attitudes That Lead to Lousy Marriages

last updated by abigail 11 months ago
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    chairmo
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    4 Common Attitudes That Lead to Lousy Marriages

    4 Common Attitudes Without a doubt, marriage and family life at all phases necessitate daily sacrifice. It’s easy to fall prey to things that undermine marriage in the midst of the hustle and bustle of life.
    And I’m not simply talking about money-related concerns and quarrels.
    Here are four prevalent mindsets that contribute to bad marriages.

    4 Common Attitudes That Lead to Lousy Marriages

    4. “I wish you were like…”

    “Everyone is a huge mess in some way!” a friend once said. If they’re not a disaster in one area, they’re a disaster in another.”
    She’s absolutely correct! On social media, I only get edited glimpses of other people’s life.
    Comparing my marriage or husband to anyone else’s is detrimental to both my mental health and my marriage.
    It is setting him up for failure, which he does not deserve. When I start to sense comparison creeping in, I switch off the trigger, such as Instagram, and focus my prayers on my husband.

    Read Also: What do your kids think about marriage?

    3 “I can’t believe you need ______ from me.”

    When my husband listens to my needs without criticizing or disregarding them, I feel appreciated and loved.
    True, sometimes what I perceive as a need is actually a wish, but there’s a deeper need there that I can only understand and express when he enables me to speak freely.
    Distrust and dismissiveness are two things that can swiftly destroy a marriage.
    On the other hand, engaging my spouse with a desire to understand his needs gives our marriage new vitality, and I want to love him in return.

    2. “I thought we’d be farther along by now.”

    My pastor refers to marriage as a “infinite game.”
    “Infinite games have no end point, and the purpose is to keep the game going for as long as possible,” he wrote.  When we feel like we’re back at square one with communication…again, it’s good to realize that there are no finish lines.
    We’ve relocated four times, changed jobs, bought a house, and had two children since we married.
    “Shouldn’t we be past this communication hurdle by now?” I’m tempted to wonder.
    I need to provide grace to both him and myself. Staying present will help you avoid unwarranted judgment and dissatisfaction.

    1. “You owe me that since I gave you this.”

    We didn’t toss a garter at our wedding reception.
    Hubby, on the other hand, surprised me by washing my feet.
    His action was a representation of Jesus washing his apostles’ feet the night before he died on the cross for them.
    Marriage should be a mutual self-gift (which means I have to continually renew my mindset!)
    When you switch from asking yourself, “How can I get what I want today?” to “What can I do to serve him today?” it’s a game-changer in your marriage.

    What’s one attitude you want to change today to improve your marriage?

     

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    • #14301
      chiagorziem
      Participant

      so true so true

      Share
    • #14358
      abigail
      Participant

      this article is so good

      Share
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