Bisi Adewale

“Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.” Ephesians 4:29 KJV

If you must build a peaceful marriage, there are things you must never do or say. We shall focus on things that must never be said to your spouse.

1. I WISH I NEVER GOT INVOLVED WITH YOU: This is a bad statement from an uncultured mind. No matter what the problem is, settle it. Never speak wrongly to your partner. This will never give you a peaceful marriage.

2. I WISH I MARRIED SOMEONE ELSE: Bringing up a former lover or relationship is the worst thing you can do. Even if it isn’t true, your partner will always believe it because if truly your desire a peaceful marriage then you wouldn’t have to splash such words out of your mouth.

3. SHUT UP: This is rude and crude. Gentlemen and ladies are not known to say this. Are you one of them?

4. I WILL DIVORCE YOU: Never use the ‘D’ word. Most of the time, people say this to threaten their spouse even if they don’t mean it. Such a statement can cause damage as it has been planted into your marriage and the heart of your spouse. It will take God’s intervention for such damage to be repaired.

5. DON’T TAKE THIS THE WRONG WAY, BUT…: “Complete honesty in relationships can often seriously backfire,” says Julienne Derichs, a licensed marriage counsellor. She also said, “In relationships, intimacy, comfort, and closeness are often confused with ‘unbridled self-expression’, which is where a person lets the flood gates open. Sometimes I hear people say ‘I’m just trying to be open and honest’ in defence of their behaviour. But being open and honest does not mean spouting off thoughts and feelings without consideration of your partner.”

6. I HATE YOU: Hate speeches and speakers are detested all over the world. This is one of them.

7. YOU ARE AN IDIOT: If this is true, a person who married an idiot must be an idiot too.

8. YOU ARE SUCH A FAILURE: “Hearing these words is like branding failure into your soul. You can’t take them back, even if they were uttered in anger and rage. They will linger and become a self-fulfilling prophecy.” says relationship expert, Audrey Hope.

9. I WILL BEAT YOU: An adult should not say something like this, it is childish. It should only be heard in a kindergarten school. Unfortunately, many adults have stopped growing since kindergarten.

10. I WILL KILL YOU: When did you become a killer? This is the height of the wrong thing you can say.

11. I AM SORRY BUT…: Apologising by saying “sorry” can be very good for couples. But the way it’s said is the most important. When a ‘but’ follows an ‘I’m sorry’, it negates it. It shows that one isn’t truly sorry but defensive. The word ‘sorry’ softens the mind before a punch.

12. YOU LOOK TOO FAT: There are better ways to say this instead of killing a person killing his spouse’s self-esteem.

13. YOU LOOK UGLY: An ugly mouth is worse than a so-called ugly face. Nobody is ugly. People who label other people ugly have an ugly heart too.

14. I WILL MARRY ANOTHER PERSON: This is a threat that may lead one to commit grave mistakes. Don’t do it, it will not give you a peaceful marriage if at all you never meant it in the real sense.

© Bisi Adewale