People can pretend to be what they are not, but if you know how to dig out the truth, coupled with prayers and patience, nobody will be able to deceive you for long. Here are ways to know who is who:
1. Don’t rush into marriage: Take your time to study the person. If you jump into marriage, you may be jumping into the fire.
2. Open your eyes: Don’t just wait, open your eyes. Check things for yourself.
3. Ask questions: Ask a series of questions. Watch his or her mouth as he talks; you will discover the truth.
4. Ask again: You may need to ask some questions, two months after you first asked them to check for consistency. That way, if lies are involved, the second answer will contradict the first answer.
5. Avoid petting, fondling and kissing: Once you start tasting the forbidden fruit, your eyes will become blind to the truth.
6. Avoid sex: Premarital sex brings unnatural intimacy and bonding that will fall like a pack of cards in marriage. Avoid sex, so that you may know the true character of your beloved.
7. Walk into that relationship with your leg never with your head: Avoid the whirlwind of romance. Take one step after the other. Don’t release your trust without testing. Let him or her prove he/she is trustworthy before you trust.
8. Be prayerful: Ask the Lord to lead you and reveal the true colour of your spouse-to-be to you. Tell God you don’t want to be in the dark and that you need His help.
9. Surprise visit: Visit him without giving any notice. You may discover things you never bargained for.
10. Surprise call: He or she claims to be a Christian. Call your beloved on a Sunday morning. If he or she is still at home by 10am on Sunday, that is not a serious Christian.
11. Friends Test: Are his or her friends unreliable or unserious? Your beloved is like them, or even worse. Birds of a feather flock together.
12. Money test: Check his/her desire for money, the way he handles, talks, makes and craves for money. If you discover the love of money, flee.
13. Faithfulness test: Check whether he/she is faithful to you. Any unfaithful person is not worthy of your love.
© Bisi Adewale
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