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  • #5822
    Family Lifers


    Bisi Adewale

    “Nevertheless let everyone of you in particular so love his wife even as himself, and the wife see that she reverence (respect) her husband”. Ephesians 5:33

    Any marriage where the woman does not respect her husband because she is taller or richer than him is doomed to fail. A man wants to be seen as the head of his home regardless of his height or his financial status.

    With or without money, the man is still the husband and head of the home. Problems evolve when the woman thinks she can take over the headship of a family because she is more financially, socially or mentally stable.

    1.    Respect His Orders And Instructions

    Never argue with your husband especially in public, in the presence of your in-laws, his friends, children, etc. Partial obedience is no obedience at all. Treat your husband’s instruction with total respect.

    2.    Respect His Personality

    Always make him feel special by giving him a pet name such as “My Lord” (this is what I called my husband), Honey, MD (My Dear), Heritage, My Crown, Mine, etc. Stop calling him by your children’s name like “Daddy Tolu”, “Daddy Chinyere”, “Daddy Victor”, “Baba Ibeji” etc. It is barbaric. Never call him by name such as “Jide”, “Johnson”, “Akin”, “Jill”, etc.

    3.    Respect His Clothes

    Treat his clothes with care. Do not fling them on the floor because you want to wash them. Your bedroom should not look like children’s playground in the name of arranging his clothes. After washing, iron and arrange them in their proper places. If it is a joint decision to employ the services of a launderer, go ahead but be in charge. Do not forget to take good care of his underwear, ties and shoes as well.

    4.    Respect His Family

    Your acceptance into the family by in-laws especially your mother-in-law is a great advantage on your marriage. Never speak evil of your in-laws. Show them due respect; do not join other wives of the family to form a caucus, it will backfire. Show them love; let them feel welcomed in your home. Accept them as part of your family.

    5.    Respect His Properties

    Some women react violently at the slightest provocation; they must break something in the house to prove their anger. This should not be your case. It is ungodly for you to scatter your husband’s life. Remember, you were created to be a helpmeet, therefore, be a plus to his life by aiming to foster his increase on every side, not to set him back.

    6.    Respect His Career/Profession/Job

    Respect what your husband does to earn a living. Make his career your interest; motivate him. Always bear in mind that his success is your success. Like the popular saying, “there’s no romance without finance”, be careful how you address his profession or career. Ask questions when you need to and your show respect for his job.

    7.    Respect His Friends

    Respect your husband’s friends; they are the ones he goes to for advice even more than his family. It is easy for a woman to disrespect her husband’s friends especially when she does not want the person in her house. That is not the best way to separate your husband from a wrong association. Fighting or quarrelling with them will not yield positive results. The best thing to do is to pray about it and discuss with your husband. Let him realize your concern is sincere and not based on your selfish interest.

    8.    Respect His Opinion

    You must make it your habit to respect your husband’s view on every matter. Even when you think you know better; you don’t have to prove it. He may look at issues from a different perspective, that’s why he’s unique anyway. Don’t insist on your points. Respect his opinion and avoid engaging in hot arguments with him. Remember, he is your head while you are the neck and the mouth is part of the head. Let him talk. Sometimes, you may have a better opinion but you must express them wisely. Don’t get infuriated if your advice is rejected. Take it to God in prayers.

    9.    Respect His Vision

    God created Adam to dress and keep the Garden of Eden.

    “And the Lord God took the man and put him unto the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it”. Gen. 2:15.

    Likewise, your husband was created for a purpose. Respect his vision and support him in achieving it in every way. Believe in him, do not say because you don’t understand his vision, then you refuse to support him. When God called my husband to start a ministry of family affairs without establishing a church, people around us then, including some close relatives, did not believe in him. They saw him as an unserious person. In fact, a particular person dissuaded me from getting married to him so as not to live in hunger; even some people said that he was lazy and did not want to work. “How can you be a pastor without a church?” Some asked. “His wife would eventually be the one feeding him”. But glory be to God, Hallelujah! We both stood our ground and held onto the vision of God for his life without an iota of doubt. Thank God that today; people have now realized that God actually called him as a result of God’s manifestations.

    There is no way your husband can attain the peak of his ministry, job, career, and business without you as his wife believing in his vision. Go ahead and help him believe in himself. God will help you.

    10.    Respect His Privacy

    Show him respect when he asks you to keep a matter as a family secret. Some wives do not know how to control their lips; it is not right. As a virtuous woman, guard your mouth; respect your family secrets as much as possible.

    11.   Respect His Uniqueness

    Nobody can be like your husband and vice versa. Identical twins are different in some aspects so don’t expect your husband to act or do things exactly as you do. We all have individual differences.


    © Bisi Adewale

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