To be in true love, a lot of things have to be in place, if they are not, it is either you are not in love at all or you are fooling yourself, they are:
(1) Truth – ” … but rejoices in the truth” I Cor. 13:6. If you find it difficult to say the whole truth to your partner, that means you are not in true love, because one of the foundations of true love is truth. If you discover that your so-call lover has been telling you lies, it is a pointer to the fact that he or she does not really love you.
(2) Acceptance – If you think you love somebody and all you want him/her to do is to change everything about him or her to suit your purpose- she is too dark, you want her to tone or bleach her body, she is too fat and you want her to slim down. His house is too small; you want him to pack to a bigger one. This shows that you are not in true love. True love accepts, infatuation and lust want him/her to change either it is convenient or not. If you are not ready to accept your partner for who he is or your partner want you to change almost everything about yourself, it is a pointer to the fact that love is lacking.
(3) Compassion – Love is affection mixed with compassion. If you have no compassion for that fellow or the tears of that lady do not touch you, it shows that love is lacking.
(4) Respect – The man that claims to love you have no simple respect for you, he treats you anyhow and even embarrasses you publicly, it shows you are just deceiving yourself, there is Honour in love, true love respects and will not want to hurt her lover.
(5) Service – True love seek to serve and not to be served. Her question is what can I do for you? Not what can you do for me? True love is ready to go the extra mile to serve the other party while infatuation and lust want to be served at all time.
(6) Forgiveness “…..is not easily provoked” I Cor. 13:5. True love is not easily provoked and when provoked; ready to forgive immediately.
(7) Selflessness – Lust is always selfish, it wants sex to satisfy himself. Whatever happened to the other party does not concern him. True love on the other hand is selfless. It looks for the way to satisfy the other party and make sure she is not hurt and be ready to wait till the wedding day before sex, because it is not selfish.
(8) Excitement – True love looks forward to seeing the other party again, she is unhappy to see him go, not because of money or sex. In fact, she is ready to pay his transport fare if he has none just for him to come and say hello! If you are engaged with somebody who is not excited seeing you, he is not proud to introduce you to friends and family, know that you have not gotten a lover yet.
(9) Righteousness – Purity is the hallmark of true love. It does not involve secret kissing, dark place meetings, street corner romance, illicit sex, embraces that embarrass God, unholy fondling, necking and immoral intimacy. True love has nothing to hide, it does not have any secret; it is as bold as a lion. If holiness is lacking in that relationship of yours, then it is not true love, it is lust no matter how you feel about it. If your pastor must not know what you are doing behind close door, if your parent must not hear about what you are doing with that guy, then it is not love, it may be hard for you to agree with me, the fact remains that, it is lust, not love, because “love does not rejoice in iniquity … .” I Cor. 13:6.
(10) Peace – Have you lost your peace because you are in love? Has fear, guilt, regret and worry envelop you because you are deeply in love? Then it is not God’s type of love, because God is not an author of confusion.
(11) Patience – Is your partner pestering you with sex, did he say he cannot wait that he wants you now else he will drop you? Do not give in, that is to tell you that he has never been in love with you, if you give in to him, he will still drop you anyway.
© Bisi Adewale